Today I have a review of Family in Six Tones. A big thank you to FSB Associates and Viking Books for the gifted copy.
My Thoughts:
Lan Cao arrived in the United States as a refugee at just thirteen years old. She’s a mother now, and even after forty years in this country, she feels uncertain of her place. In writing this book with her American daughter, she is searching for the grounding she’s always wanted.
If you are looking for a unique book on an immigrant experience, this is a beautiful one. The writing is stunning and evocative. I loved that it included both the mother-daughter relationship push and pull, which many of us can relate to, along with the refugee experience. Lan experiences many traumas in her youth filled with war and tragedy. Harlan offers insights into the intergenerational impact of those traumas.
Overall, Family in Six Tones is a lyrically written novel in two voices that is both relatable and insightful, and an honest, loving tribute to mothers and daughters. The story is as eye-opening as it is resonant. I’m grateful to have heard from these voices, and I hope they have more to share.
I received a gifted copy. All opinions are my own.
About the Book:
A dual first-person memoir by the acclaimed Vietnamese-American novelist and her thoroughly American teenage daughter
After more than forty years in the United States, Lan Cao still feels tentative about her place in her adoptive country, one which she came to as a thirteen-year old refugee. And after sixteen years of being a mother, she still ventures through motherhood as if it is a foreign landscape. In this lyrical memoir, Lan explores these two defining experiences of her life with the help of her fierce, independently-minded daughter, Harlan Margaret Van Cao.
In chapters that both reflect and refract her mother’s narrative, Harlan describes the rites of passage of childhood and adolescence, as they are filtered through the aftereffects of her family’s history of war, tragedy, and migration. Lan responds in turn, trying to understand her American daughter through the lens of her own battles with culture clash and bullying. In this unique format of alternating storytelling, their complicated mother-daughter relationship begins to crystallize. Lan’s struggles with the traumatic aftermath of war–punctuated by emotional, detailed flashbacks to her childhood–become operatic and fantastical interludes as told by her daughter. Harlan’s struggle to make friends in high school challenges her mother to step back and let her daughter find her own way.
Family in Six Tones is at once special and universal, speaking to the unique struggles of refugees as well as the universal tug-of-war between mothers and daughters. The journey of a refugee–away from war and loss towards peace and a new life–and the journey of a mother raising a child–to be secure and happy–are both steep paths filled with detours and stumbling blocks. Through explosive fights and painful setbacks, mother and daughter search for a way to accept the past and face the future together.
I read this and was struck by how much the mom’s trauma and fears affected her parenting. Once you know bad things can happen you’re never the same and the world is never completely safe.
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That’s so true, Carol, and such a good point. It had to have been overwhelming.
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When my son was 3 1/2 he ran into the street and was hit by a car. When my neighbors small kids play in the street i have attacks of anxiety!
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Oh, no, for some reason this did not show up when I replied above- oh my goodness, you definitely experienced a trauma when that happened. I am sure that would cause continued anxiety. ❤️
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I have to almost lock myself in the house to keep from walking down the street and giving that mom a piece of my mind about what could happen!!
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My previous comment is in the context of things happening years and years ago that still affect us…in case it seemed like a random comment! 😂😂
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No, it completely fits because much of Harlan’s narrative, to me, was about how her mom’s trauma continued to impact her. I totally get it. ❤️
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Yes our past traumas affect our current mental health …I think parents and children would benefit from open conversation about what drives our worries and concerns and behavior choices!
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Absolutely! We could learn so much and normalize so many of our experiences.
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Excellent review, Jennifer💜 What a timely story.
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Thank you, Jonetta! It really is a timely story!
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It’s my first time hearing about the book! Thank you for sharing it!
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My pleasure, Laura! It’s such an insightful book!
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I love books that feature mother and daughter relationships. This one sounds so beautiful. Great review, Jennifer.
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Thank you, Diana! Me, too! It’s such a thoughtful story!
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Lovely review, Jennifer. 🙂 Great to know it has a lyrical prose and features mother-daughter relationship – something I love reading about.
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Thank you, Debjani! I feel the same way!
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Wonderful review, Jenni. This sounds like an important book for everyone to read😁
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Thanks so much, Tammy! I think it is! So much to learn from this perspective!
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That’s a great review.
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Thank you, Priyasha!
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This sounds like such an amazing story. I love mother-daughter stories and for this to be a true sharing of life and feelings, makes it sound even more special. Fantastic review Jennifer.
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Thank you, Carla! It really was and I am the same way with mother-daughter stories.
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What a wonderfully sounding story. Mother daughter relationships are often tenuous! Terrific review!
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Thank you so much, Marialyce! You are so right! ❤️
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Awesome review, Jennifer! Lovely picture! I added this lyrical memoir to my TBR. Happy Wednesday!❤️📚
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Thank you, Virginia! I think you’d really enjoy this thoughtful book! ❤️
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This sounds like such a Allan amazing book – I have been trying harder to make an effort to read books that speak to experiences outside my own. I’m intrigued to read more about Lan’s experiences as an immigrant and to explore the dynamic between her and her daughter!
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It’s so thoughtful and illuminating, LP. I really enjoy reading from other perspectives too.
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The writing sounds so beautiful! The same can be said about your review, Jennifer.
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Thank you so much, Stephen! I really enjoyed this book!
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love this blog post! great content!
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Thanks so much! ❤️
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