Happy Wednesday! Today I have a review of When Breath Becomes Air, a book I had the pleasure of buddy reading with my dear friend, Beth, at Bibliobeth, which she read as part of her Nonfiction November challenge. Check out her NN posts for lots of interesting fun!
My Thoughts:
When Breath Becomes Air has been on my shelf since I first bought it from Book of the Month over two years ago. I was waiting for the right time, and that never seemed to come. Timing is important for a read like this, and we all have our connections to books or topics that we feel might contribute to poor timing…If Beth hadn’t had this on her reading list for November and offered a buddy read, I don’t know if I ever would have picked it up. Even though I desperately wanted to read it, I was scared.
What happened to Paul Kalanithi could happen to any one of us. A young life full of promise with some uncomfortable symptoms he explained away as stress and body ailments that would come along with one of the most physical and mentally draining times of his life, his last year of residency in neurosurgery.
Kalanithi chronicles his early life, the role of his parents in his education, his siblings, his time in college- what he studied and why. He shares many philosophical thinkings he has had and how they contribute to the path he chose. He comes to a fork in the road where he has to choose between being a writer and being a doctor, and he chooses the latter. Why? Not for the fortune and fame because of all the sacrifice it would take to get there; instead, it was a calling for him.
Documenting the years of his training, including his residency, and up through his diagnosis to the birth of his daughter, and then his last documented days, I have to say I cried in the beginning, and I cried while reading the last 60 pages. Once Kalanithi knew he was rapidly declining, I could not stop my tears. Then, when his story ends, and his wife, Lucy, completes it, I continued to weep. Paul Kalanithi’s had worked hard to accomplish so many things, and it was all cut devastatingly short. He had a tenderness in his love for his wife, his daughter, his parents and brothers, his friends, but also in how he approached every human he encountered. He never disconnected from the human connection, that each patient was someone’s biggest love.
Even though this book ripped me apart, and yes, it made me cry, I’m grateful that I know, and can be inspired by, Paul Kalanithi’s heart.
Thank you to Beth for another wonderful buddy read. So far we are two for two with emotional reads!
Synopsis:
For readers of Atul Gawande, Andrew Solomon, and Anne Lamott, a profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir by a young neurosurgeon faced with a terminal cancer diagnosis who attempts to answer the question What makes a life worth living?
At the age of thirty-six, on the verge of completing a decade’s worth of training as a neurosurgeon, Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. One day he was a doctor treating the dying, and the next he was a patient struggling to live. And just like that, the future he and his wife had imagined evaporated. When Breath Becomes Air chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a naïve medical student “possessed,” as he wrote, “by the question of what, given that all organisms die, makes a virtuous and meaningful life” into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the brain, the most critical place for human identity, and finally into a patient and new father confronting his own mortality.
What makes life worth living in the face of death? What do you do when the future, no longer a ladder toward your goals in life, flattens out into a perpetual present? What does it mean to have a child, to nurture a new life as another fades away? These are some of the questions Kalanithi wrestles with in this profoundly moving, exquisitely observed memoir.
Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book, yet his words live on as a guide and a gift to us all. “I began to realize that coming face to face with my own mortality, in a sense, had changed nothing and everything,” he wrote. “Seven words from Samuel Beckett began to repeat in my head: ‘I can’t go on. I’ll go on.'” When Breath Becomes Air is an unforgettable, life-affirming reflection on the challenge of facing death and on the relationship between doctor and patient, from a brilliant writer who became both.
This is one book that kinda scares me. I thought about it often, that maybe i want to read it, but i always back down. It’s super depressing, and i think sometimes i just like to live in my own bubble and not acknowledge that things like this happen.
Great review ❤
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Thanks, Norrie! I was really scared of it, too, and it sat on my shelf for a couple years. That said, I’m grateful I read it, and even thought it was emotional, it ended up being quite inspiring too. I totally understand your fear. ♥️
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Reblogged this on LIVING THE DREAM.
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Thank you, China! ♥️
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Beautiful picture and review, Jennifer. Happy reading.
🌹💕📚
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Thanks so much, Virginia! I thought the picture matched this book well. Happy reading to you, too! ♥️
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Fab review, Jennifer and I know what you mean about the tears. I tried to read this one a while back but wasn’t able to finish it. It got too heavy, emotional and just the thought that it isn’t fiction made it hard for me to move forward. I think I was crying by chapter 3. Maybe one day I will read it again.
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Thank you, Diana! A little ways in, I was hopeful things would be different, even though we all know how things end, but I think it got me through…well, that and it is well-written and I really grew to care about him and his family. Overall, it uplifted me in the end, even though it was very sad, because there are some resonant messages about hope and new beginnings. I hope if you give it another chance, you feel uplifted too. ♥️
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I had this book… I knew I would cry for days after reading it… I couldn’t read it. Your review itself made my tears flow… Sorry Jennifer, I can’t read this, a fellow doc’s story… I would be a mess
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I understand, Shalini. It was a difficult read, and I don’t remember crying that hard while reading before.
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I knew I’d be a mess reading this book and now I’m certain of it after your lovely, touching review. Kudos to you for making it through and creating this wonderful tribute to a heartbreaking story.
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Thank you, Jonetta! I read so many emotional books, and this one was especially resonant, even knowing the ending before I began. Like I said in the review, I’m grateful I read it, and luckily there are some uplifting messages, but woo, it was an emotional read.
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I read this book some time ago and absolutely loved it. Glad you did as well, Jennifer. It was such a powerful read.
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Thank you, Marialyce! Definitely a powerful story and an emotional one.
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This sounds extremely emotional! I hardly ever read non fiction, but when I do I always enjoy the experience. Maybe it’s time to try one?
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Thanks, Tammy! It’s good to try something different every once in a while to keep things interesting! 😊
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It’s been on my list for ages but I’m so emotional that I’m afraid to read it. However in making my list for the 2019 Popsugar challenge, I’ve added it as one that was “published posthumously”. So next year for sure!!!!
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I totally understand, Jaymi. It sat on shelf for so long waiting to be read. I think you’ll be pleased in the end that you read it for your challenge. It’s a wonderful book! ♥️
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What a marvelous review! I haven’t read it, but it sounds so wonderful!
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Thanks, Mackey! It’s a powerfully emotional read for sure.
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Fabulous review of an unforgettable and highly emotional book. I’ll never forget reading this. I was crying throughout the entire story too. Such a beautiful and powerful book. Wonderful review Jennifer!!
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Thank you, Lindsay! I should have known this one would grab your heart, too. What a powerful read, I agree! Thanks so much for sharing your experience with me. I’ll never forget this book or the experience or reading it! ♥️
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This sounds like such an emotional read! x
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It truly is a tearjerker, Zoe! ♥️
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I might not read it anytime soon! Can’t deal with crying at the minute lol
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This one sounds like a real tear jerker, Jen. I do have it added though. Loved your review. 💚❤💚
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Thanks, favorite M! It is an emotional read, but a worthwhile one, and there is hope in the end, which I think is crucial in a read like this. I’ll never forget this one. ♥️
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Wonderful review! I have been wanting to read this one.
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Thank you, Darinda! I hope you have a chance to read it and that you find it memorable too.
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This book was so moving. I loved the ending that his wife wrote.
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It really was, Angela, and the epilogue really brought it all around (and made it that much more emotional!). ♥️
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I read this book last year…actually listened to the audiobook, and I was such a mess. With all the health problems that I’ve had my biggest fear is that they will find something beyond what I’m already dealing with, so I’m always scared to read these types of books. And I always become so emotional anyway. I cried so much at the end as his wife narrates the parts she wrote. It was beyond an emotional read.
Have you read The Bright Hour: A Memoir of Living and Dying by Nina Riggs? If you haven’t, then I highly recommend it. It’s as much, if not more emotionally taxing but beautiful too if that makes sense. She attended UNC when we did for her B.A. in English then taught as a creative writing professor there in the early 2000s; I realized when I was reading the book that I knew her because we’d had classes together although we weren’t friends. I think that deeply affected me when reading the book because you just don’t think about it happening to someone your age.
A wonderful review and I’m glad you read it with Beth! xoxo ♥
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Thanks, Steph! I can definitely understand your feelings because when I bought this one I was having my own share of serious health concerns. I just could not pick it up. It really does help to buddy read something like this, and of course Beth is amazingly supportive. ♥️ You make me want to listen to the audio at some point. I didn’t know Lucy read her chapter, but that just adds to the poignancy.
I own The Bright Hour, and I think I loosely remembered the connection to UNC, and I remember that she was living and working in North Carolina. Just like with this one, it will take me some time to be able to read it. I know exactly where it is and will one day pick it up. Thanks for the reminder about that one.
Xoxoxo
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Great review! I’ve had this book on my TBR ever since it was first published and I just can’t seem to bring myself to read it. I’ve lost too many people to cancer in my life and don’t like to be reminded of it, and yet your review has made me remember why I bought the book and why I wanted to read it. I may yet give this one a go. x
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Thanks, Hayley! It hit super close to home for me, too. It felt like very much Paul’s story. When I was sad, it was for his family, and not my own, and that isn’t always the case when I read emotional books. Sometimes my own emotions come into play, but that was just my experience. I don’t know if that helps, though, because you may very well feel differently reading it; it’s all so personal. It is a hopeful read in the end, so that’s good, too. If you do end up reading it, I hope you find it as worthwhile as I did. It was a well-written and heartfelt story. ♥️
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Lovely review! I read this for my book club and that prologue written by his wife completely destroyed me, wow! Glad she didn’t read the entire book I would’ve been completely ruined!
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Thanks, Berit! It was such a heartfelt and emotional book. I am in awe of the person that Paul was, and his heart for other people. So impressive. Yes, his wife’s epilogue was incredibly poignant, and I found her final words to be uplifting too. ♥️
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This was a great review and I’ve heard so many things things about this book, but think I’d be too scared to read this because I tend to worry about health issues too much. 😱
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Thanks so much, LP! It was a deeply emotional read for me, and I was definitely scared to pick it up, too, so I understand. It is a slim book and I read it in about 24 hours time. I am grateful I read it, but I totally understand how difficult the content is. ♥️
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Awesome review Jen and I love your picture as well! Happy Wednesday and happy reading!!😊💗
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Thanks, Sus! I had that book with some bright flowers and then I had that stark one with the whites and grays, and I thought it suited much better. Thank you for noticing. ♥️ I enjoyed this read even though it was a tissue read. Hope you had a great Wednesday! Xo ♥️
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This sounds really interesting, Jennifer. It does sound heart breaking. 😦
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Thanks, Chrissi! It was definitely a tear jerker, but I’m grateful I read it. ♥️
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Marvellous review Jennifer! I’ve not read this yet, but want to now x
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Thank you, Sassy! It was a powerful read!
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Oh gosh, I could feel the emotion even reading your review! Wonderful. I’m so glad you and Beth enjoyed your buddy read!!!
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Thanks, Mack! I’m so grateful I had someone to read this one with! And it was definitely powerful and emotional. ♥️
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This book was so heartbreaking!!
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It really was, Ashley, and luckily I found some hope there in the end for a new beginning. ♥️
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Absolutely! It was a beautiful read.
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Yes, I read this beautiful book, and like you, I kept it on my shelves for a while, then I read it in stages. From the beginning, we know the ending, so it’s hard to read without great sadness. However, the author’s writing is exquisite. He was an old soul, and one that was taken too quickly from this life. But oh how much he gave us in that short wonderful time. xo
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He really did give us so much with this book, and the writing is absolutely exquisite. I’m so grateful I read it.
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As am I. I keep it on my bedroom bookcase and re-read sections now and then.
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Beautiful review Jenni, this was such a tough read on so many levels but I’m really glad you decided to read it with me! I’ll never forget it or our buddy reading experience. 😘😘😘
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Thanks, Beth! I’m so grateful you has this on your list and that I read this with you! I’ll never forget it all either. Exceptional all the way. Can’t wait for our next one! 😘❤🤗
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I read this book a few years ago and it was definitely one that was memorable and heartbreaking too.
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It really was- so much emotion, but I’ll never forget it. I’m happy you found it memorable, too.
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awwwwww,I read this book,over and over and over again.It is a really great book.I am grateful you read it and apprciate it.He and his writting mentor are really special.I love that he shared his story and took the time to write it for all of us who walk into medicine after him.
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It really is a beautiful read! I can see why you enjoyed it too! ♥️
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